Sitting in the belly of the whale

From Allie Papke-Larson comes this reflection. Papke-Larson is Program Coordinator for Lutheran Campus Ministries/Canterbury Episcopal Campus Ministries at Northern Arizona University and Youth Director at Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran Church in Flagstaff.

Thich Nhat Hanh wrote to sit with the Earth, noticing its beauty and support, this will heal you. I am doing this today. I am out on a hike in the Kendrick Wilderness, just north of Flagstaff. I am trying to reflect on what I read of his book, Love Letter to the Earth, on my way up the mountain this morning. He writes that we must practice remembering that we are part of the Earth, part of the woods, part of this mountain. He writes, that it’s us forgetting this connection that causes us problems. 

It’s not really all that quiet here, not like you would think when you leave the city for the woods. The wind is shouting though the trees, this constant buzzing prompts me to remember what he wrote about breath; with each breath we inhale “nitrogen, oxygen, water vapor, trace elements.” We are inhaling the Earth, it is part of us. 

I try to practice what he wrote as I hike: breathing in, breathing out, and paying attention, this connects me to my body and these woods, at least for these moments. There is so much movement here, even besides the cold wind. The cooling weather brings the changing and falling leaves, the sun shines with a less direct light, our once long days, shortening. 

This time of year has me thinking about the transitions in my own life. I remember what a friend told me once, she said finding our way can be like being in the belly of the whale: we can’t see that we are moving, growing, crossing an entire sea. It feels like we are sitting still, even though movement and growth are happening. 

I wonder what does it take to feel the changes, this movement, while we are in the belly? Often we feel that this is the time to act, to do, to plan, for when we’re in the belly of the whale we can’t see where we’re going or which route we’re taking. Are we going in the direction we desire? We can become anxious with our lack of control. We wonder are we even moving at all? It’s interesting to me that while we are in the belly of the whale we can do nothing but be in the belly. There is nothing for us to plan, or act on, or do while we are sitting in a whale belly. Being there feels like doing nothing, but perhaps that’s not the case. Just ask Jonah. 

I read this morning what Thich Nhat Hanh wrote “doing nothing, is doing something.” He continues to say that in order to love the Earth we must understand the Earth, and in order to understand it we must notice it. To notice the Earth we must stop and just be, breathing in the Earth, and seeing it. He says this is where healing for the Earth and for us begins. God knows how much healing we need. Here is when, if we let our plans go and turn instead to God, we may commune with God and creation. We become more than those plans, more than our actions. 

While we are growing and transitioning into whatever is coming next it’s hard to let the wisdom of Jonah and Thich Nhat Hanh seep into our lives. Being carried by the whale and paying attention to the Earth may look different than what we thought or wanted. It takes faith to trust that this growth is happening, that God will work through us to do Gods good work. Perhaps in order to hear God’s call we need to let go of doing. We instead practice just being; to sit in the belly, to breath with the Earth, and to make that space where we can hear God calling us, Holy.