I’m a Lutheran: Caroline Bonnema

Nurse Practitioner, Texas Oncology
Triumphant Love Lutheran Church, Austin, Texas

We transferred to Triumphant Love in 2018 from Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran [when] we moved just north of Austin to Cedar Park. My husband grew up at Shepherd of the Hills, but it made sense to go to a church closer to our home when we moved. There are several young families in our church that live in our neighborhood, so my kids had an opportunity to form friendships. Plus the pastor at Triumphant Love, Danielle Moore Casey, grew up at Shepherd of the Hills when my husband was there, so they knew each other from high school youth group.

At this point in my life and career, my primary involvement in church is through my children. Instilling the importance of faith in them, as well as helping to foster lifelong friendships through fellowship, are the primary ways I’m involved in church. We have an amazing youth group that is led by Deacon Brianna Morris-Brock. She leads classes about parenting in the 21st century and addresses the unique concerns parents face today with social media and technology.

My 13-year-old daughter is active in confirmation and just returned from a youth retreat last weekend. The youth are making pies for Thanksgiving as a fundraiser and to give back to the community. My daughter also is responsible for tidying the “pray-ground” for the young children after worship and changing the paraments every week as needed. This involvement is very important to me because it is foundational to our faith. I believe it forms the basis of who are and what we believe. Teaching that to my children is the most important thing to me right now.

My church community is a safe place that is open and accepting, where my kids can wear their Crocs to acolyte and bring friends to church without fear of judgment. I used to participate in the choir but have not been able to commit the time since I started working as a nurse practitioner. Participating in worship is a practice that strengthens our faith like exercise strengthens our bodies. The repetition of the service is a backdrop to our lives that is always present and can be counted on to provide order and structure in a disorderly world.

I became a nurse in 2010 and wanted to work in labor and delivery but found myself on a women’s services unit at Methodist Hospital in San Antonio. My manager required us to become “chemotherapy-certified.” Two years later, my husband, young daughter and I unexpectedly moved to Austin, and the [job I found] happened to be in an oncology clinic, which hired me because of the chemotherapy certification. Since then, I’ve worked in various roles in outpatient oncology and finished my post-master’s [degree] certificate to be a nurse practitioner in April. I have been working as a nurse practitioner at Texas Oncology since this summer and love my position. It is not the field I set out to work in, but it is where I have found my calling and believe I am fulfilling God’s work by caring for others.

This is where I have found my calling and believe I am fulfilling God’s work by caring for others.

When I look back on my initial goal of working in labor and delivery, I realize that welcoming new life into this world is often a joyous occasion. While many of the cancer patients we treat get better, the reality is that many of them do not. Walking side by side with patients and shepherding them along the cancer journey is a privilege and honor that not all are called to. Making a difference, no matter how small, in the lives of those I see is the greatest reward for me.

I live out my faith by trying to show the compassion and sincerity to my patients that I would want shown to me. Martin Luther described “masks of God” as ways ordinary people share God’s work with others by doing their vocation to better his creation. I strive to show kindness and genuine care to patients as they battle cancer. That journey often brings up several unresolved issues related to relationships and regret, among many other things.

I spend my free time working out, reading and watching true-crime documentaries.

I pray for my children. I thought it would be nice to say “world peace,” but honestly, that’s what I pray for. They struggle with mental health concerns, and the fear and anxiety of parenthood can be overwhelming. I want my children to know where they come from and to share forgiveness and grace freely with others as it is given to them.

When I think of God’s presence in my life, I think about times in college when I was struggling to pay rent and barely making ends meet financially. I remember, one time, going to check the mail and [finding] a check there for the exact amount that I was missing to pay my rent. I think it was from a utility company giving me my deposit back. It was so unexpected, but the timing and the amount made me really feel God’s presence in my life. Lately I feel like the chatter has been too loud in my head [for me] to notice God. In the mix of daily life, caught up with work and kids, it can be hard to take the time to see God’s presence. But I know he’s there, even when I feel alone or overwhelmed; even when my teenage daughter yells and slams doors or my son doesn’t hear me ask him to pick up his socks because he’s too busy playing Roblox on his iPad. I see the face of God in those that support me and care for me, like my friends, my husband, my family.

To me, grace means forgiveness. Period. We don’t deserve it and couldn’t earn it if we tried. It is given to us freely and without strings attached.

I’m a Lutheran because I was born into the Lutheran faith. My grandfather was a Lutheran pastor, and I was raised in that faith. But I’m a Lutheran now because I identify with the values and agree with the beliefs. Our church is opening and accepting toward people of all backgrounds and beliefs, which is consistent with my values. When my grandfather was in the hospital after surgery for cancer, my mom told me that he came out of anesthesia and was telling people that “God’s mercy is wide as hell!” I really like that analogy, and when I think about why I’m a Lutheran, it’s because God’s grace is all-encompassing and knows no bounds. This is the God that I know and [that] represents the love that I want to show others.