Allie Papke-Larson: Pouring myself out

Lent is a practice of pouring myself out. 

An act of emptying out all I have collected in my heart. 

Well, at least this is what I am praying for: that I might pour myself out before God and the World, and then be filled up through the promise of Easter. 

Emptying myself to God is an act of self reflection, of taking a look at what’s inside, of seeing what has been moving and collecting within me.

Its seeing all the colors and hues that have been swirling around inside my heart and splashing them onto a canvas, of taking a look at both the bright colors and the monochrome ash.

Pouring myself out to God has felt like an act of repentance, of practicing giving all of who I am to God: the good, the bad, and the ugly

Repentance has been thought of as turning around from that which ails you, to face God: an act which heals you

Perhaps also, for me in this season I see repentance as a practice of generosity. 

Generosity because I am practicing pouring out and giving up the sins, hurts, and pains I have carried,  giving up even the joys I have carried… emptying out my ailments and everything I cling to that is not God, so Christ can fill me with his resurrection on Easter Morning. 

This Lent I am practicing pouring out.

What if we did pour ourselves empty, and what if we did have the faith to see what God can do with open spaces? 

Amen.

Allie Papke-Larson is Program Coordinator for Lutheran Campus Ministries/Canterbury Episcopal Campus Ministries at Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff.